[:es]Pre-adolescence and adolescence are challenging times for children and their families. It is a stage full of changes, physical, emotional, and psychological changes.  Children are too old to do activities they used to love, but they are also too young to do others.

Peer pressure, the importance of self-image, the beginning of social media presence, the growing need for independence and the awakening of sexuality are factors that directly affect communication with our children and students.

It is important to highlight that between the ages of 12 and 20, children’s attention is focused on themselves and their need for autonomy, causing confusion, misunderstandings, conflicts,and fights at home, because they tend to feel ignored and closed in.

What will be the key to keep communication open and achieve happiness for our children?  The answer is simple: open dialogue.

Dialogue with adolescents is an obstacle course, there will be times when it will be easy and fluid, others we will fall and start again.

Tips to improve communication

Preparing for the dialogue

Think about the main issues you want to address and engage in practice conversations with your partner to prepare rebuttals to your child’s possible arguments or excuses. This preparation can help you keep a cool head during the course of the conversation so that the discussion is productive without ending in an argument.

You can also read: Common learning difficulties and how to deal with them

Choose the time

Whether you want to connect with your child through a relaxed chat or a more serious conversation, choose a time when he or she is most receptive and willing. Academics recommend talking while riding in the car, walking or preparing dinner to put your child at ease. However, if you want to touch on a sensitive topic, consider waiting until you are both focused on the conversation. For example, talk before bedtime once your child finishes homework, the house is quiet and the young children are asleep.

Listen carefully

When you have the opportunity to talk to your tween, don’t spoil the mood with distractions. Turn off the cell phone and TV and find activities that keep your other children occupied. Psych Central recommends that, during conversation, you listen twice as much as you talk. This, along with respecting your child’s feelings and opinions during the conversation, will show them that you’re really interested in hearing what they have to say.

Keep secrets

If you want your teens or tweens to be open and honest, assure them that conversations are completely confidential unless you tell them otherwise. If they’re talking about an issue related to your child’s personal safety, for example, let them know that you’ll probably need to share the information with your partner or doctor to get the right help. However, if it’s a topic that doesn’t need to be shared, Psych Central cautions that disclosing information your child tells you privately could prevent you from engaging in open conversations in the future.

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