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[:es]Common mistakes when you’re having a second child[:]

[:es]First-time parenting can lead to mistakes due to inexperience with a newborn. Likewise, overconfidence with a second child can lead to mistakes you should not make.

 

When you already have a child and you are a mother or father for the second time, you may believe that the road is already paved and that you will not have the same mistakes you had the previous time. While it is true that you already have some experience, you must keep in mind that not all children are the same. This implies that there will be new roads to travel, which are not free of stumbling blocks.

 

Below, we will tell you which are the most frequent mistakes of this second round. Don’t miss it!

 

 

What mistakes should you not make with your second child?

Lack of confidence can lead you to make a mistake, but so can overconfidence. Want to know some examples? Take note.

 

Comparing and labeling

Remember that every child is different and no child is more good or bad, smarter or less smart, more advanced or less advanced than his sibling. They are simply different.

 

Each one has his own needs and his own learning rhythms and we should not put labels on them, neither positive nor negative. By repeating it so much, the child ends up assuming that this label is the one that defines him, even marking his way of being and acting as others expect from him.

 

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Giving up some of your time for your older child

When a second baby comes into our lives, their care takes over so much that we may neglect everything else. And for a moment, we can lose sight of the fact that our older child needs our attention, too.

 

Just as we did before the birth of our second baby, we need to make time for our firstborn. We should take some time exclusively to be with him: play alone, read stories or go for a walk together. We can also involve him in the care of his little brother, but without burdening him with responsibilities.

 

Making the older sibling even older

This is one of the most common mistakes. When a sibling arrives, it seems to us that the older one has grown up all of a sudden, but we must not forget that he is the same child he was a few months ago.

 

Don’t make the mistake of telling him that he is “grown up” to cry, to have tantrums or to reproach behaviors that are normal for his age.

 

Going too fast

In order to adjust to the older child’s pace, we force the little one to go faster than he should for his age. By not being able to dedicate as much time to him as we did to the older one, the second one lives in a more accelerated environment.

 

It is important that we take this into account and adapt to their rhythms, without assuming that because they are the second child they are already stimulated by the older sibling and do not need more.

 

About the mistakes you shouldn’t make with your second child

 

These are some of the mistakes you should not make with your second child and which are also the most frequent among today’s parents.

 

The most important thing is to be clear that each child is different and that nothing that happened with the first one has to happen with the second one. Neither the good nor the bad.

 

This new adventure that awaits you is going to be unforgettable. Be patient, organize your time and enjoy your children!

 

Related: Tips for talking to tweens and teens

 

Our Nino de la Caridad Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering and improving the quality of life for young people in the Bronx. If you want to help this noble cause I invite you to follow us on Instagram and if you wish you can donate HERE.

 

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